I have news for you. It may be frightening and it may be liberating, but I assure you it’s true:
There is a control panel wired directly into your brain.
Your teenager has direct access to it.
In the simplest terms possible, HE KNOWS EXACTLY HOW TO PUSH YOUR BUTTONS. He knows exactly what to say, and what not to say to get the response from you that he wants, and his timing is usually impeccable. Teens know how to make their parents smile and adore them so they can get money, a special favor, a ride, use of the car, or the new cell phone they want. They also know how to make you howl with anger, and if you’ve allowed them to have access to your control panel in the past, they are probably pretty darn masterful at knowing which buttons to push now to get the response they’re looking for. From a very early age kids learn what behaviors they can get away with and which ones they can’t.
In order to have a great relationship with your teen and a peaceful, happy home environment, you MUST remove your teen’s access to it. You’ve got to take back control of it.
You want to be operating your own control panel – not your teenager (or anybody else for that matter).
Now I don’t want you to gloss this over and think “yeah, yeah…I know I need to keep my cool a bit better.” This is deeper and more important than that. The key to a happy home begins with taking control of your own emotional reactions to the things that happen within it.
It begins with taking a DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP breath, and staying calm – even when they’re pushing your buttons.
When you are calm, you’re in control. When you don’t let things rattle you, you’re in control. When you’re calm and confident, you’re the pack leader and you’re in control of your house.
Here are the 2 primary reasons for being in a calm state of mind with your teen: