joshuawayne.com

I am a big fan of action movies and Superheroes- always have been.  I used to get up religiously on Saturday mornings to watch the Justice League of America cartoon- I think it was on at 7am.  I love Rocky movies (yes, all of them) because I feel like I share his victory when he finally prevails and wins the Heavyweight title.  I also love it when Bruce Wayne (no relation, unfortunately) puts on his Batman suit and saves the day.

That’s the hallmark of a great ‘hero’ film- when you identify so much with the character that you “feel” their victory in the end as well.

While these great movies always revolve around the challenges the main characters have to face, they are also symbolic of something else…something more important.  They are symbolic of the everyday struggles of normal people like you and me.

No matter how many times they are kicked to the ground, they pick themselves up over and over again- no matter what the setback or what the cost.

One of my favorite examples of this is from the movie “Batman Begins”. When young Bruce Wayne falls down the well, breaks his arm and gets traumatized by the bats, his loving, compassionate father asks him “Why do we fall down, Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up again”.

And that’s the weight loss attitude you need to adapt. If you fall of the wagon, get back on it. No setback (even devouring 2,000 calories in a sitting) is reason enough to give up on your goal.

(more…)

How To Increase Your Positive Thinking

In Part 1 of this post, I identified that the choices you’re making on an ongoing basis are either moving you in a positive or a negative direction.  Now what do we do with that?  Where do we go from here?

This is a very important part of the equation, so please really take this to heart.  This is where the potential lies to move from just making weight loss “simple” to actually making it “easy” over time.

A close friend was recently visiting me who is getting his PhD in Philosophy.  He was telling me about a course he recently took in practical approaches to Eastern Philosophy, and he said that the whole thing could be summed up in roughly 2 sentences:

If it’s good and it’s working, follow it.
If it’s not good and it’s not working, let it go.

The point is this: you have to keep moving forward staying focused on the positives.  If it’s good and it’s working, then keep moving in that positive direction- follow it.

If you make a bad food choice that brings you down in any way, then acknowledge it and then let it go. When you let go of a bad choice, you are by definition already moving forward in a positive direction.  Ask yourself, “What is the next thing to do?  How do I move in a positive direction from here?”

Maybe you drink a couple extra glasses of water to flush your system, maybe you go for a 10-minute walk, maybe you call a friend or write in your journal.  It doesn’t matter so much what you do; what matters is that you make the choice to quickly regroup and move forward in a positive direction. Like  I’ve been saying: simple, huh?

So, the “art” here is actually two fold:

1. Getting really good at making positive decisions in the first place. Mostly this involves being mindful and aware of what you’re doing.  Are you being conscious when you make a food choice?  Are you using the tools and resources at your disposal to help you make good choices (calling a friend if you’re in a bad spot or committing to logging your food)?  The more mindful, present and aware you are in each moment, the better your choices will be- guaranteed.
2. Getting really good at getting back on a positive track if you fell off. This is actually a huge skill and cannot be overlooked.  We all make mistakes.  Don’t demand perfection from yourself, but do hold yourself accountable to keep putting yourself back on a positive track.  Like I said before, if you make a mistake, acknowledge it and use it as an opportunity to be more conscious of your choices and to get right back on track.

There’s one final little piece I want to add that I think is really helpful (and by the way, in case you haven’t figured this out by now, these ideas can help you in many ways in your life beyond just weight loss).

When you make a choice in a positive direction, really celebrate it. It know it sounds a little cheesy, but it’s important.  When you do well, you need to get psyched about it.  It reinforces your positive thinking in a powerful way.

Remember, you’re building habits here.  The more you feel good and proud of yourself for positive choices, the stronger you build the habit in that direction.  Positive thinking leads to positive habits. It’s just the way things work. If you doubt it at all, that’s fine.  But I ask that you earnestly practice what I’m talking about here for one week.  Really apply these principles into your life and see how they affect you.

In fact, regardless of how much you “buy-in” to what I’m talking about, I’d love to hear your thoughts.  If you’re doubting what I’m saying here, that’s actually great!  I invite you to go test out these ideas for the next 7 days and get back to me with your results.

How To Make Weight Loss Simple

The ideas I am going to share with you about how to approach weight loss are about how to make it a simple process. Now I know this may sound like one of those phony sounding headlines we all read on the covers of countless magazines about “How to Lose 20 Pounds in 2 Weeks By Eating This One Vegetable” but I assure you what I’m talking about is different (yes, I shudder too when I read those empty promises).

I want to assure that my choice of words is very deliberate. I carefully chose the word “simple” as opposed to “easy”.  My experience is that they are often two very different things, and it’s usually helpful to keep them separate.  But what I want to share with you is an idea I had recently that can give you a simpler way to approach weight loss (and that will hopefully make it easier in the process as well).

Here’s why I think that at it’s core weight loss is really a simple process.  There is only one thing you ever really need to pay attention to, and that is what you do next. That’s it.

Think about that for a second. We make it so complicated and we overwhelm ourselves with all our non-stop thoughts and worries.

• We stress about what we ate yesterday (or even several days ago!) and how it will show up on the scale
• We worry about what we’ll eat tomorrow when we’re out with friends
• We drive ourselves crazy worrying about how we’re ever going to successfully lose the 20 or 30 or 50 or 80 pounds to begin with
• And all the while we’re terrified of the possibility that we won’t and we’ll be dealing with this frustration the rest of our lives!

Whoa!  That’s a lot of thinking!  But in my experience it’s what most of us do.  Do you see how complicated we make it? We get so busy in our heads thinking about all the things we need to do and all the things that can go wrong, and in the process we forget the most important thing of all: the present moment, and that single, simple choice in front of us about what to do next.

Do you get how simple that is?  There is only one decision you actually have to make.  You don’t have to make a decision about what happens 30 minutes from now, or 10 hours from now or 10 days from now.  You just have to decide what to do next.

So let’s take it a step further…

What I want you to realize is that every decision you make is going to lead you in either a positive or a negative direction.  Just two choices here (remember, we’re keeping it simple) and it’s definitely one or the other!

(more…)

In Part 1 of this series, I talked about the weight loss mindset necessary if you have a lot of weight to lose- say 50 or more pounds.  In this second part, I will begin breaking down a 6 step process for losing the weight and creating the health and happiness you desire.  But before I get started, a necessary quick disclaimer before reading this article:

I am not seeking to diagnose or treat any physiological or mental disorder that would require the services of a trained and licensed physician, psychiatrist or mental health counselor.  The information I am sharing is intended to be strictly educational in nature.  If you think you may have either a physiological or mental disorder that requires the treatment and/or supervision of a licensed physician, psychiatrist or mental health counselor, I highly encourage you to seek out that consultation.

1.    Create a picture of the person you want to become.

This may sound like a simplistic step, but it’s actually very important- and it’s important to begin here.  Always start your self-inquiry on a positive note.  Do this by envisioning the person you want to become.  Write it down or create a ‘vision board’ with some images that represent the life you want to be living.  This is important because it’s easy to get bogged down in your problems and the things that aren’t working well in your life.  Having this picture gives you a positive, forward-looking image to inspire you, and also gives you something positive to return to again and again when the going gets tough.

2.    Determine what you need to let go of and what you need to address

As you travel along the journey of becoming the person you want to be- as outlined above- your issues are of course going to come up.  Consider that you need to do one of two things with them: 1) let them go, or 2) address them head on.

First, very often we continue to carry old, false beliefs that hold us back from the happiness and success we desire.  Often these false beliefs are about our degree of worthiness or desirability to others.  More often than not we adopted them when we were young- either because unconscious people around us put them in our heads or we invented them ourselves because we were stressed and scared and didn’t know any better.

Little by little we need to let these false beliefs go because they do nothing but limit our potential for happiness.  It’s like somebody put rocks in our backpack and we’re just carrying this dead weight around unnecessarily.  We need to let it go and step into the life we want to be living.

Other times there is just no alternative but to address our issues directly.  Maybe we have challenges in our relationships that need to be confronted directly; maybe our self-esteem is very low and we need the help and support of a therapist to help us work through it; maybe we are in unhappy in our career or job and need to get disciplined about making some changes.

How do you know the difference between what you need to let go of and what you need to address?  Simply put: if you can’t just let go of it, you need to address it.

3.    Don’t be shy about working with a therapist or coach

It’s interesting that in a society where having a therapist or coach has become quite commonplace, many people are still hesitant about seeking this kind of help.  They may foolishly think it’s a sign of weakness, or they may be mortified by what their friends would think.

Nobody needs to know you’re working with a professional to sort through your issues.  It’s strictly between you and that professional. If you feel you could benefit from the outside input and support but you’re holding back for one of the reasons I just mentioned, then with full care and compassion I offer this: get over it.

It doesn’t have to feel comfortable to make the appointment or walk in the door and share what’s really going on in your life.  In fact, if it doesn’t it may be a sign that you’re on the right track.  Regardless, if you need the support, get over whatever limiting beliefs you have that prevent you from taking action.

4.    If you do work with a therapist, make sure you find one that wants to get you out of therapy

(more…)

{Disclaimer before reading this article:  I am not seeking to diagnose or treat any physiological or mental disorder that would require the services of a trained and licensed physician, psychiatrist or mental health counselor.  The information I am sharing is intended to be strictly educational in nature.  If you think you may have either a physiological or mental disorder that requires the treatment and/or supervision of a licensed physician, psychiatrist or mental health counselor, I highly encourage you to seek out that consultation.}

Do you have a lot of weight to lose- meaning more than 50 pounds? Or perhaps even 100 or more pounds to lose?  Have you tried to lose that weight many times before- and perhaps successfully lost some of it- only to find yourself losing focus and gaining it all back again?

If this sounds like you, then in order to have the lasting success you desire, you may need to look at what is emotionally “below the surface” of the extra body weight you are accustomed to carrying.

Very often- not always, of course, but often- people who are carrying significant extra weight (50 pounds or more) have a deeper psychological issue (sometimes it may be more than one issue, but for grammatical simplicities sake, for the duration of this article I will just refer to it as an ‘issue’) that the extra weight is a symptom of.  In order to experience sustained, successful weight loss, very often they must unearth and address that deeper psychological issue at the same time.  They must deal with what’s beneath the weight.

If you fit the profile I describe above, then it’s possible that you already know what that deeper psychological issue is.  Perhaps you have even been working on it for some time- by yourself, in a support group of some sort, with a trust friend or with professional support.

If so, then good for you!  Being willing to look at your personal issues is an important and crucial early step to resolve or let go of what stands in the way of having the health and happiness you desire.

If you don’t know what that issue may be, then it’s an important thing to consider as you move forward on your trajectory to lose weight.

Here is the first crucial question to ask yourself:

What do I get to avoid in my life by carrying this extra weight?

If you are carrying significant extra weight on your body, there is something you ‘get’ out of it.  We could say that the extra weight has a ‘positive purpose’ in your life.  That may sound strange because it costs you so much in terms of your health and happiness, but nevertheless it is most likely true.  The ‘positive purpose’ is what it allows you to avoid dealing with.  So ask yourself, “What does this extra weight enable me to avoid?”

• (more…)