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So in Motivation Tip #1, I talked about determining your innate motivational strategy when it comes to weight loss.  Specifically, I helped you determine if you are more naturally motivated Towards Pleasure or  Away From Pain.

So now I want to focus on how you effectively apply this valuable little nugget of information.

In the simplest of terms, your motivational strategy tells you how you have to think about your weight loss goals in order to consistently take action.

Let me repeat that in a slightly different way: in order to consistently take positive, forward-moving action to lose weight, you need to think about it in the right language and with the right pictures in your mind.

What To Do If You’re More Motivated Towards Pleasure

If you’re Motivated Towards Pleasure, then really spend some time thinking about what you want in rich and colorful detail. Find pictures (of yourself or from a magazine) that inspire you and make a vision board (this can be as simple as a few pictures in your journal or a complex mural on your bedroom wall- whatever works best for you).

What To Do If You’re Motivated Away From Pain

What I have found is that most people who are struggling with their weight are more motivated away from pain when it comes to their health.

(Side note: I’m not going into this much here, but it is possible to be have a different strategy in different areas of your life; for example ‘away from’ with your weight and ‘towards’ with your career.  Obviously here we’re just focusing on the weight issue.)

As a result, you need a slightly more sophisticated motivational strategy because somebody trying to inspire you by how great you will feel when you lose 30 pounds is going to fall on deaf ears.

However, thinking about how you’re going to feel 5 years from now if you don’t make a change is likely to make your ears perk up.

They key is to go in your mind to the place where the consequences lie  so you don’t have to go there in reality.

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This is part 2 in my series on self-sabotage in the weight loss process.  You can find part one HERE.  Part 2 picks up with the 3rd most common reason I see people sabotaging their weight loss effort.  Enjoy.

3.    You Don’t Believe You Deserve It

It’s also possible that you continue to sabotage your own success, because at some deeper level you still don’t believe that you really deserve the body and happiness you desire.  In a strange way, carrying the extra weight may be much more inside your comfort zone than being thin. As unhappy as you may be, you already know what to expect in life- things are familiar and predictable.

If this sounds familiar, then what I want you to understand first and foremost is that these are beliefs you either learned from others or created for yourself- nothing more.

You don’t have to carry them any further with you ‘in your suitcase’ than you already have.  Sure, changing these beliefs requires some deep reflection and earnest effort, but any negative belief you may have about yourself, your body or your worthiness as a person can be changed.

The solution?  As you bump into these old beliefs start reflecting on where they came from.  Who encouraged you to think and feel this way about yourself?

• Your family?
• Friends?
• An old boyfriend?
• Or maybe you just created it all by yourself.

Regardless, the first step is recognizing these old limiting beliefs and being willing to ‘exchange them’ for new beliefs that help you get where you want to be rather than blocking the way.

The truth is this:

You deserve all the health, happiness, positive relationships and fit, sexy body you desire.  You need to own that truth.  You need to fully believe this yourself and get out of your own way.

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I am a big fan of action movies and Superheroes- always have been.  I used to get up religiously on Saturday mornings to watch the Justice League of America cartoon- I think it was on at 7am.  I love Rocky movies (yes, all of them) because I feel like I share his victory when he finally prevails and wins the Heavyweight title.  I also love it when Bruce Wayne (no relation, unfortunately) puts on his Batman suit and saves the day.

That’s the hallmark of a great ‘hero’ film- when you identify so much with the character that you “feel” their victory in the end as well.

While these great movies always revolve around the challenges the main characters have to face, they are also symbolic of something else…something more important.  They are symbolic of the everyday struggles of normal people like you and me.

No matter how many times they are kicked to the ground, they pick themselves up over and over again- no matter what the setback or what the cost.

One of my favorite examples of this is from the movie “Batman Begins”. When young Bruce Wayne falls down the well, breaks his arm and gets traumatized by the bats, his loving, compassionate father asks him “Why do we fall down, Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up again”.

And that’s the weight loss attitude you need to adapt. If you fall of the wagon, get back on it. No setback (even devouring 2,000 calories in a sitting) is reason enough to give up on your goal.

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5 Keys to Losing The Last 10 Pounds

So, maybe you’re already doing well with your weight loss or your weight management.  Sure, you know you could lose those last 10 pounds to get to your pre-child or college years weight, but you keep asking yourself, is it really worth the trouble?  I mean, your husband isn’t complaining.  He thinks you look great.  And most of your friends would probably give their left arm or leg to have your figure.

But then it happens.  Out of nowhere, a girlfriend from your single days ‘tags’ you in a picture on Facebook- and there it is.  That picture of you on the beach in a bikini when you were 20 (we’ll ignore those crazy bangs you were sportin’ and the drink you’re holding with the little umbrella in it- for now).  You know the picture I’m talking about it.  It’s the one that shows you at EXACTLY your ideal weight.  Now it’s imprinted on your brain and you can’t quite let go of it.  You really want to get back there, but you also know it means losing those same 10 pounds you’ve been mulling over for a couple years now.

Okay, you finally decide after thinking about it non-stop for 3 days, I’m gonna do it! I’m going after those last 10 pounds…once and for all…this is the time!

If this sounds like you, then good for you.  Before you get your game plan together, though, here are 5 important things you should think about first.

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How To Increase Your Positive Thinking

In Part 1 of this post, I identified that the choices you’re making on an ongoing basis are either moving you in a positive or a negative direction.  Now what do we do with that?  Where do we go from here?

This is a very important part of the equation, so please really take this to heart.  This is where the potential lies to move from just making weight loss “simple” to actually making it “easy” over time.

A close friend was recently visiting me who is getting his PhD in Philosophy.  He was telling me about a course he recently took in practical approaches to Eastern Philosophy, and he said that the whole thing could be summed up in roughly 2 sentences:

If it’s good and it’s working, follow it.
If it’s not good and it’s not working, let it go.

The point is this: you have to keep moving forward staying focused on the positives.  If it’s good and it’s working, then keep moving in that positive direction- follow it.

If you make a bad food choice that brings you down in any way, then acknowledge it and then let it go. When you let go of a bad choice, you are by definition already moving forward in a positive direction.  Ask yourself, “What is the next thing to do?  How do I move in a positive direction from here?”

Maybe you drink a couple extra glasses of water to flush your system, maybe you go for a 10-minute walk, maybe you call a friend or write in your journal.  It doesn’t matter so much what you do; what matters is that you make the choice to quickly regroup and move forward in a positive direction. Like  I’ve been saying: simple, huh?

So, the “art” here is actually two fold:

1. Getting really good at making positive decisions in the first place. Mostly this involves being mindful and aware of what you’re doing.  Are you being conscious when you make a food choice?  Are you using the tools and resources at your disposal to help you make good choices (calling a friend if you’re in a bad spot or committing to logging your food)?  The more mindful, present and aware you are in each moment, the better your choices will be- guaranteed.
2. Getting really good at getting back on a positive track if you fell off. This is actually a huge skill and cannot be overlooked.  We all make mistakes.  Don’t demand perfection from yourself, but do hold yourself accountable to keep putting yourself back on a positive track.  Like I said before, if you make a mistake, acknowledge it and use it as an opportunity to be more conscious of your choices and to get right back on track.

There’s one final little piece I want to add that I think is really helpful (and by the way, in case you haven’t figured this out by now, these ideas can help you in many ways in your life beyond just weight loss).

When you make a choice in a positive direction, really celebrate it. It know it sounds a little cheesy, but it’s important.  When you do well, you need to get psyched about it.  It reinforces your positive thinking in a powerful way.

Remember, you’re building habits here.  The more you feel good and proud of yourself for positive choices, the stronger you build the habit in that direction.  Positive thinking leads to positive habits. It’s just the way things work. If you doubt it at all, that’s fine.  But I ask that you earnestly practice what I’m talking about here for one week.  Really apply these principles into your life and see how they affect you.

In fact, regardless of how much you “buy-in” to what I’m talking about, I’d love to hear your thoughts.  If you’re doubting what I’m saying here, that’s actually great!  I invite you to go test out these ideas for the next 7 days and get back to me with your results.

What Do You Want?

A client, “Marcy”, came to see me yesterday and said, “I’m always on a diet!  I lose 10 pounds and gain back 5…then next time I lose 5 and gain back 10.  It goes on and on like this; I just can’t maintain my focus on losing weight.  What do I do?”

“Well”, I told her, “the first thing you have to figure out is what you really want.”

“I already know what I want”, she said, “I want to lose 25 pounds and go down four dress sizes!”  That is what she said, but the look on her face was impatient and had “Duhhh!” written all over it.

“Look”, I said, “on the surface I understand that this is what you want.  But you have to go deeper and figure out ‘the want behind the want’.  That is what will keep your focus on losing weight.”

“Huh?”, she now said.  She had moved from “Duhhh!” to “Huh?”, so I knew we were making progress.

“There is a reason you want to lose 25 pounds,” I said.  “You believe that if you did, your life would be dramatically better in some specific ways.  You need to get in touch with exactly how it would be better.  That is the ‘want behind the want’.”

You see, a key aspect to lasting weight loss success is knowing why you want to lose weight at the deepest level, what I call “the want behind the want”.

So what is the want behind your want- that deeper value that losing weight will add to your life? Is it:

• To feel more comfortable dating or to feel sexier in the relationship you’re in?
• To be healthy and active with your children?
• Because you’ve been diagnosed with an illness and you want your health back?
• To look better and have more self-confidence when you interview for a job?
• To look better at a high school or family reunion?
• To really love yourself and feel good about your body.

Whatever your deep desire is, I want you to get in touch with it specifically.  Write down all the answers you come up with in as much detail as possible.

“The Want Behind The Want” Is Your True Motivator

When you know ‘the want behind the want’ you understand what truly motivates you because it stirs you emotionally and is strongly connected to your sense of happiness.  If the list of deeper wants you came up with do not stir you emotionally, then you did not dig deep enough.  Keep going.

You want to get to this ‘core desire’ because it gives you something to focus on that has much greater power and significance that simply focusing on a number.

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